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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Jokes of The Day.... Ha Ha Ha...
| Laloo: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai? P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye. Laloo: Susra, Ball to pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain? Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai. Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal. Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long…..! Amitabh - Mere Pas Gaadi He Amitabh: Mere pas Gaadi he, Banglaw hai, Bank Balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai? Shashi: Mere paas bhi Gaadi hai, Bunglaw hai, Bank Balance hai… Silence for few Minutes… Amitabh: Abey to phir Maa kahana hai? |
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Fwd: Fun Time
From: tajammul_aqadeer <tajammul2006@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 14, 2009 at 9:57 AM
Subject: Fun Time
To: tajammul2006@gmail.com
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while
driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person
is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.
I tried - but they wanted cash.
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the
month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with,
marry the one you cannot l ive without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it
later.
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of
resting before you get tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it
Anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong
and she agrees with me.
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the
job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love
many times, always with the same person.
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man
changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions
between address books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your
parents have done it for you.
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to
say; fools talk because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because
the father seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get
married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will
never come.
[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what
should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs
Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[26]There is only one perfect child in the world
and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every
neighbor has it!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Mens perspective. ..
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
DavidBissonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Anonymous
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Sam Kinison
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Nash
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met..
Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Anonymous
Friday, June 5, 2009
Hyderabadi Urdu
Hello everyone,I found this wikipedia article to be hillarious.. lol..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyderabadi_Urdu Hyderabadi UrduFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaJump to: navigation, search Hyderabadi Urdu (Urdu: حیدرآبادی اردو) is a dialect of Urdu spoken in Hyderabad, India. It is considered one of the many Deccani Urdu dialects. It is a mixture of Hindustani (Hindi and Urdu) and Telugu, with many Persian and Turkish influences. Linguistically, it is notable for its mixing of the Indo-Aryan languages of the North (Hindustani) with the Dravidian languages of the South (Telugu). This dialect can be understood very easily by most Hindi or Urdu-speakers, but it is difficult for non-native speakers to use it themselves. Some differences are: Potti - girl Plural form of words: The plural of a word is formed by sufixing 'an' to the word. the letter 'n' is silent. example: pottian (girls), choran (thieves), machcharan (mosquitoes), naaman (names), logan (people) etc. [edit] Words and SentencesThis dialect is perceived by Hindi and Urdu Conversatonists as quite amusing. Some more examples of Hyderabadi Urdu usage are given below, some of the usage is considered slang.
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[Message clipped]
Economic Crisis Explained (The Hyderabadi Way ....)
Dear Hyderabadis,
If you are real a Hyderabadi or have a link to Hyderabad - you are the best person to explain the world about Global Meltdown, Financial Crisis, changes in and Valuation of Shares and Bonds............
All in one example below:
Khaja Bhai is the proprietor of a Nehari restaurant in Hyderabad. Sales are low and, in order to increase them, he comes up with a plan to allow his customers to "eat now and pay later". He keeps track of the meals consumed on a ledger.
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flock to Khaja Bhai´s Hotel. Khaja Bhai´s suppliers are delighted and are very willing to sell more and more raw materials for the meals he prepares. Khaja Bhai shows them his ledger of receivables and they extend him credit.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and gives Khaja Bhai a credit line and then increases his borrowing limit. Taking advantage of his customers´ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Khaja jacks up the prices of his Nehari, Kulche, Jabde, Paaye and Zabaan (restaurant menu).
Customers don´t mind as they are not required to pay on the spot anyway. Sales volume increases massively, Banks and suppliers lend more; Khaja Bhai opens more outlets. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the customers as collateral.
At the bank´s corporate headquarters, expert bankers recognize Khaja´s customer loans as assets and transform these into BONDS. These negotiable instruments are given exotic names such as JABDA BOND, PAAYA BOND, ZABAAN BOND AND KULCHA BOND. These securities are then listed on the Stock Exchange and traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what the names mean and how the securities are guaranteed, but, nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a credit risk manager of the bank decides that the time has come to demand payment of one of the debts incurred by Khaja Bhai. Khaja in turn asks his clients to pay up. One by one they refuse; the clients cannot pay back the debts. Khaja Bhai refuses to serve them any more. The clients stop coming. is really screwed now.. He cannot fulfill his loan obligations and therefore claims bankruptcy. All Bonds drop in price by between 80 to 95%.
The suppliers of Khaja, having granted generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with similar problems. The Meat Supplier defaults on payment to the Cattle Supplier and claims bankruptcy. The Kulche Ka Aata supplier is taken over by a competitor; Khaja lays off the cook and staff. Bankruptcies soar, unemployment mushrooms. The bank that lent the money in the first place is set to collapse.
It is later saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties with Khaja Bhai commuting back and forth in his Executive Jet and Mercedes 500SEL, brokering the deal "Bail-Out".
The funds required to save the economic collapse are obtained by a tax levied on the common citizens, Most Of Whom, Do Not Eat Nehari, Zabaan, Sirey No Paye...as their sirey are unable to understand!!!
GOLMAAL KI JAI HO...!!!
JAI BOLO BE-IMAAN KI -
I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU ??
I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.