Monday, March 24, 2008

Software Sholay


Gabbar sends Kalia and his other two colleagues to Ramgad for collecting the 'loot-maar' software which he ordered.
They reach Ramgad and start shouting, "Abey oh Thakur. Baahar nikal. Kahan hai woh loot-maar software joh hamne order kiya tha."
Dhaniya, an old man comes out with a floppy in his hand.
Kalia: Kya laye ho dhaniya.
Dhaniya: Financial accounting software hai sarkar.
Kalia: Suwar ke bachche. Yeh bekar software hamare liye banaya aur woh loot-mar software kya apni beti ke baratiyon ke liye zip file mein chupa rakha hai,
haraam zada.
Thakur comes out of his house seething with anger.
Thakur: Chillao mat Kalia. Jaakar Gabbar se keh do ki Thakur software waloh ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana band kar diya hai.
Kalia: Bahut garmi dikha rahe ho Thakur. Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?
Thakur: Nazar utha kar dekh Kalia tere sar par power builder chal raha hai.
Kalia lifts his head.He sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another water tank, punching the keys of a laptop.
Kalia starts laughing and says, "Haa haa...ye log programming karenge Thakur. Haa haa.. inko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate. Suno Ramgad ke vasiyon, Thakur ne hijdon ki software company banayi hai.
Veeru: Chup chap chala ja Kaalia, hum log consultants hain, kuch bhi kar sakte hai.
Jay hits some commands on his keyboard.
Jay: Jao Kalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya.
Kalia: Jaata hoon Thakur. Agar Gabbar ko pata chala ki Thakur software services walon ne uska loot-maar software nahin banaya to woh purey network mein virus daal dega.

At Gabbar's den
Gabbar: Kitney bugs they?
Kalia: Do sarkaar.
Gabbar: Woh do! Aur tum teen! Phir bhi fix nahin kar sake? Kya soch ke aaye the? Gabbar bahut khus hoga. Naya assignment dega, kyoon? Iski saja milegi. Barobar milegi! (Snatches an X terminal from Sambha) Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?
Sambha: Chhay Sarkaar.
Gabbar: Session chhay aur programmer teen. Bahut na insaafi hai. (Logout... logout.. logout...)
Haan..ab theek hai...ab tera kya hoga Kalia?
Kalia: Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha sarkar?
Gabbar: To ab documentation likh! (Logout....)

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